Q&A Session at Avvo.com

How many times should a normal male have sex. And how often does a normal female have intercourse?

I composed my answer at www.avvo.com but apparently I missed the deadline (?) so I've copied & pasted it below:

There truly isn't a normal frequency of sexual intercourse for men or women.  What's normal for you may be either abnormally high or low for someone else as the range for normal is quite wide.  It's not the best analogy but think about the frequency of bowel movements.  Again, there isn't a normal frequency but rather a wide range of normal such that what's a normal frequency for you may be abnormally frequent or infrequent for someone else.  In fact, we don't necessarily define diarrhea & constipation by a specific number or frequency of bowel movements but rather relative to your baseline.  Likewise, as long as you're satisfied (and so is your partner), then we encourage you to ignore the typical bar talk, magazine articles, and movies (both mainstream and adult-oriented).

With that said, we do know that over time, as we age, the frequency of sexual activity decreases.  Some of this may be attributable to the accumulating burden of medical conditions and/or medications (which may or may not affect one's testosterone level).  Our mood (depression comes to mind) can obviously affect the frequency of sexual activity.  Of course, most of us tend to gain fat weight & lose physical conditioning, which doesn't help the issue.  Erectile dysfunction can affect the man's confidence and thus decrease the frequency of attempted intercourse.  Menopause can lead to physiologic changes in the female genitalia, which if not addressed, can lead to pain & discomfort, the exact opposite of what's desired, and thus a decrease in frequency of sexual activity.  However, not every couple or person necessarily reports a decrease.  Some actually report an increase in frequency, especially if they find a more compatible partner.

So rather than focus on the need to achieve a specific frequency of sexual relations in some given period of time, focus on the satisfaction of your partner (and yours should follow soon thereafter).  One other thought comes to mind and that is that frequency of sexual relations might also be affected by religious & cultural upbringing as well as by mood.  Basically, if you're not satisfied, talk to your family physician and get evaluated.  Good luck!

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