Hope Springs: Thespian Interpretation of Aging Relationship

Let's be clear.  I'm not a movie reviewer.  As much as I enjoy watching movies, I'm not much of a critic.  I just go along for the ride that the director & actors/actresses and all the others involved in the making of a film intended.  I mention this because last night I watched an advance screening of Hope Springs, starring Meryl Streep, Tommy Lee Jones & Steve Carrell.  I won't give any spoilers but will offer IMDB's summary: "After thirty years of marriage, a middle-aged couple attends an intense, week-long counseling session to work on their relationship."

As you can imagine, especially if you've watched the trailer, the wife & husband, played by Streep & Jones, are in the midst of some relationship issues after 31 years of marriage.  They've grown apart despite living together.  In fact, they've grown so far apart that they sleep in separate rooms, ostensibly for his injured back but also for his sleep apnea.  Except that he never wears a CPAP mask.  Given prominent display is Jones' character's paunch & central obesity, undoubtedly aggravated by his sleep apnea.  But this same central obesity could also lead to some erectile dysfunction issues (which he vehemently denies, of course) as well as loss of desire from hypogonadism.

But wait, I'm jumping ahead of myself.  As I've noted in many posts in answer to patients asking how to solve their erectile dysfunction and/or loss of libido (sex drive), I always ask them to (re-)evaluate their relationship w/their partner.  See, it doesn't matter how much Cialis, Levitra, Staxyn, Stendra or Viagra I prescribe the guy, if he's not in a loving relationship, he's not going to get an erection (he'll need to switch to alprostadil, whether Caverject, Edex or Muse, for an instant on, if you know what I mean).

Likewise, it doesn't matter how much testosterone I give someone.  If he isn't in a positive relationship w/his partner, he won't be sexually interested in that person.  Of course, the extra testosterone might stir up an interest in someone else who's more attentive but that's another movie to watch.

On the other side of the coin, women tend not to desire sex as much as they do love (correct me if I'm wrong by writing comments!) as noted during a discussion between Streep's & Jones' characters.  More important for the guy to understand, women don't have an on/off switch, unlike guys who are visually oriented.  Women need to be warmed up, so to speak, again as light-heartedly portrayed in the movie.  

Tomorrow, we'll consider some options for Jones' character after he works on his relationship.

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